Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Letter to the Mutha

February 24, 2010

Dearest Mutha F Mother Nature,

Just a little note to check in with you and see how you are doing. I know I haven't written in a long time, but I feel that we are at a bit of a crossroads. I'm thinking that I may have unknowingly offended you at some point. You know with all this snow, sleet ,rain , and yet another school delay just when I was feeling hope could see bare ground again. I thought maybe you were sending me a not so subtle message that you were less than pleased with my actions. Was my offense in the Fall when I didn't prune the bushes and mulch the gardens? Did you know I moved away from that house? I thought the new owners should find out what they bought into might enjoy spending some quality time in the yard. Or maybe it was that time I walked past the dirty Kleenex on the sidewalk without picking it up. I know you are into the whole "go green" thing, but in my defense, I was worried about contracting H1N1. There was a lot of media hype about how important it is to keep your hands clean. There are some new Spring knits I'd like to start, but I just can't wrap my head around them until I see some signs of fairer weather. I want you to know I am deeply apologetic and I humbly ask for your forgiveness. I hope this letter will suffice, but if necessary I can call a media conference and read my heartfelt apology publicly. Thank you in advance for your understanding in this matter.

Respectfully Yours,


P.S. I know this is none of my business, but maybe it would help if you got out a little more. Maybe you could join a social networking group. I hear Facebook is fun. I'm sure there are other more healthy ways to vent your frustrations.

P.S.S. Looking forward to seeing your bright and sunny face at the Summer Reunion Picnic.